When “Nobody Saw You”

There’s so much truth here, and so much love from the friend who wrote it for her mom friend…be prepared to cry! (In a good way. 🙂

 

Nobody saw you,

nobody at all

at 3am when

they woke again.

Nobody saw you

picking up the peas,

wiping up the beans,

emptying the laundry basket,

taking out the bins

again

and again.

Nobody saw the crust of toast

that fell out of your bra when you got undressed at night,

such a glamorous life

being mum

wiping noses

washing faces

trying to stay calm.

(for Pete’s sake)

Nobody saw you

when you were so bored of playing princess ninja pirate turtles

but you said, ‘ok,

just five more minutes,

just one more time,

just one more go,

just one more round’

and then said it again ten minutes later.

Nobody saw you

holding the toddler who wouldn’t be put down

but also wouldn’t go in the buggy

but also wanted to walk but only in the opposite direction

and ‘oh look!

a stick/discarded lolly/dog poo/pebble/cigarette butt/the sky!’

Nobody saw you holding the sick bucket in the night

or on the way back from school

nobody saw you holding a jacket,

a rucksack, a book bag, a sunhat,

a scooter, the baby, a half-eaten apple

and an art project made out of three cereal boxes taped together

and covered in glitter glue,

holding soft little hands at bed time,

holding angry little bodies still kicking and shouting,

holding it together,

holding on,

holding a hungry little head

to a boob as hard as concrete

in those early days

of chaos.

Nobody saw you winding the bobbin up

and winding it back again

and pointing to the ceiling

and pointing to the floor

and pointing to the window

and pointing to the door.

Nobody saw you when it was raining again

and the kids were sick

and you didn’t leave the house for three days.

Nobody saw that.

Nobody saw how many times you watched ‘The Gruffalo,’

on the third day,

how many times you read about what happened to igglepiggle’s blanket

or the one about the inappropriate pets

sent by the zoo.

Nobody saw you in the car

when you dropped the baby off for the first time

when you promised yourself you wouldn’t

but you cried all the way home

all the same.

Nobody saw when you were empty

but you gave something

but you made something

but you thought of a game

but you said sorry to a little face

for being cross, for snapping again.

I haven’t seen you for a while

we haven’t chatted for too long

but I when I see those lovely pictures of your kids

you post sometimes

I feel like I am seeing you,

the mum behind the kids

behind the babies

and the bumps

and the toddlers smiling into the camera

I see the wipes and the nappies and the games and the songs

I see the snot and the poo and the tantrums and the kisses

I see you putting little arms

into little cardigans

and brushing tiny teeth.

(whilst being kicked in the face)

Nobody sees all of the things that you do

all of the ways that you manage

and with questions like,

‘So when are you going back to work?’

You can end up feeling like one of the hardest jobs

you have or will ever have done

is simply reduced to dossing around at home.

Nobody sees you sometimes

but you are building something

that will never be torn down

a love that cannot be removed

and sometimes it is boring

and sometimes it is the worst

and sometimes you have never been happier

Nobody saw how much you gave

every day

every night

every 5am

every 5pm

every moment.

Have I ever told you

that I think

you are such a wonderful Mum?

Let’s get pissed together soon ok?

~Anonymous