Since the free app that I recommended for my Afterglow Support Group curriculum guided meditations, “Stop, Breathe & Think,” went out of business, I want to offer some alternatives for you to use instead. Feel free to print and read them aloud in your group.
“Find a comfortable, dignified posture— seated upright with your feet planted on the floor and your palms open, resting softly in your lap. Allow your eyes to close or rest in a soft downward gaze. Take a slow, deep breath in, filling your lungs all the way to your pelvic floor, and let out a long, softening exhale. Notice whatever emotional weight, guardedness, or judgment of self or others that you might be carrying right now, letting yourself arrive without trying to fix it immediately.
“Bring to mind the specific situation, choice, or action that you are holding onto—a moment where things didn’t go the way you wished, or where you feel you fell short. When we are being hard on ourselves, we often don’t notice how our body responds to holding this memory. Is there tightness in your chest? A knot in your stomach? Tension in your shoulders? Silently acknowledge the reality of what happened, along with the pain or regret it caused: Yes, this happened, and carrying the weight of it hurts.
“Remind yourself that making mistakes, experiencing missteps, and feeling regret are universal parts of being human. Is there a part of you, at least, that can believe you did the best you could with the awareness, emotional tools, and resources you had at that exact moment in time? Making mistakes is part of how we learn, parent and grow. Offering forgiveness to ourselves for our missteps is good practice for offering it to our children someday.
“Placing a comforting hand over your heart space, feeling its warmth and steady beat, quietly offer yourself permission to forgive and release anything that no longer serves you. Acknowledge that beating ourselves up does not change the past; it depletes our energy in the present and for the future. Now, as you breathe in, imagine drawing in a sense of space and clarity. As you breathe out, silently offer a phrase of forgiveness to yourself, letting it sink in past the resistance:
- “I acknowledge my mistakes, and I choose to release the heavy burden of self-blame.”
- “May I forgive myself for not knowing then what I know now.”
- “May I treat myself with kindness, patience, and compassion moving forward.”
With each exhale, imagine the tightness around your heart loosening just a fraction more.
- “I acknowledge my mistakes, and I choose to release the heavy burden of self-blame.”
- “May I forgive myself for not knowing then what I know now.”
- “May I treat myself with kindness, patience, and compassion moving forward.”
Returning to the physical sensation of your breath moving in and out of your body, feel the solid support underneath you holding you completely secure in this present moment. When you feel ready, take one final deep, cleansing breath, gently wiggle your fingers and toes, and open your eyes, carrying this intent forward into the rest of your day, and night, with your baby.
