Book Club Questions

For your book club

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Bake a batch of Marlowe’s muffins, or stir up a pot of kale stew, to serve at book club, play the Apple Music or SoundCloud playlist, and settle in to discuss:

1. Which mama did you identify with most and why?
2. How do you feel about how much Marlowe shares with Aaron? How much she keeps from him? Why do you think she does? What would you do?
3. Have you ever had a medical condition you couldn’t get help from a healthcare provider with, or that you felt judged for? That made you question yourself? That felt like trial and error as you muddled through? How did you deal with that? Was it isolating? Did you find your community or own answers?
4. Marlowe questions her intuition throughout the story because of what she has been through, evolving from doubting herself to trusting herself little by little. What has helped you grow in your ability to listen to yourself? Do you call it your gut, your heart, your inner voice, your conscience, your intuition, or something else? Was that something you were taught growing up or did you learn that along the way?
5. The idea of Marlowe trying different medications and having side effects while questioning her reality makes her an interesting choice for a citizen sleuth. What did you notice as differences in Marlowe as she starts or stops medications? Did you trust her more or less when she was on or off medication?
6. How did you feel about the contrast between the elegiac tone of Marlowe’s internal experiences and the hollow, fabricated cheer she turns on for the children’s sake?
7. By reconnecting with her playful side—sometimes with her children, sometimes on her own, or in nature, or by experimenting in the kitchen—Marlowe is leveling up as a mother too, becoming more childlike and playful herself. What makes you feel playful?
8. Marlowe’s feet carry her for thousands of miles and through so many stressful moments. Have you ever thought about your body with gratitude for where and how it handles stress for you? Which part would you be most proud of?
9. We sometimes lose sight of ourselves as new parents (or during other major life transitions), and yet “all the roles you play are not you.” Like Marlowe trying to reconnect with and reinvent herself, what have you never tried before that you would want to try to rediscover a new you?
10. Marlowe experiences a gradual decline from: (1) sometimes she worries she’s not okay but still hopes she will be to (2) sliding into postpartum depression & anxiety to (3) DMER wearing her down to the lowest point possible. As Marlowe rebuilds herself from the ground up and learns to trust her gut in spite of all that, she moves from wishful thinking to fearful to surrendering to fearless. How did you see her personal experiences overlapping with the case?
11. Rage is not anyone’s favorite feeling, but rage is an important emotion because it demands responsibility. Not payback or retribution, simply action. Rage tells us: something needs to change. When has rage shown up for you? What did you ask for or accomplish because of it?
12. The stepping stone is a turning point for Marlowe, something that doesn’t have an innocent, alternative explanation. Though a sense of violation and fear plagues her, its disappearance helps her realize that she can differentiate between what her illness is “doing to her” and what is true. Has there ever been a talisman, an object, or piece of evidence that became a turning point in life for you?
13. Marlowe saves herself and buys some time by treating Garrison as if he is still a good guy with good intentions, even though she doesn’t condone his actions. What do you think you would’ve done?
14. Nothing has ever shaken Marlowe to her core as much as postpartum depression, making her question herself, her perceptions, and if she’s going to survive. When an illness makes you question if you even like yourself anymore and convinces you that you’re not worth fighting for, that’s cruel. No one should have to go through that alone. (Or with people around them questioning them, blaming them, adding to their shame and fear.) And yet, feeling that low can become a strength, when we feel we have nothing else to lose and take action. While writing Marlowe’s character in the scene when Garrison was hurting her and she was plotting her escape, I heard her voice clear as a bell in my mind saying, “You can’t take any more from me than this illness already has. I won’t let you.” Maybe not to that degree of intensity, but has an albatross around your neck ever become your ally?
15. One of the most satisfying parts of a mystery novel is the confession! And yet, even then, we don’t know what to believe. Do you believe Cade when he tells Detective Beck that he was going to take Aria to the hospital? Do you think Cade knew Garrison was going to deal the final blow when he called him for help? Or was he secretly wishing for that? (He could have called 911 directly!) Do you think he waited at Aria’s to cool off and apologize to her because that’s what he had done to get her back in the past after they had arguments? Or do you think this time he realized he crossed a line when he pushed her down and was afraid she was going to report him finally?
16. When they are discussing gun fatalities, Burke asks, “Too heavy?” Marlowe replies, “No, suicide is something that’s on my mind all the time in the background anyway.” What taboo topics do you wish people talked about more often?
17. River moves in across the street from Marlowe and they have a “How did I get so lucky?” type of instant connection. Has that ever happened for you? Maybe they are not exactly across the street like River and Hazel, maybe it’s a chance encounter like meeting Burke at the park and the kids connect first. Or maybe it’s a college roommate like Ivy. Who are those “family by choice” people for you?
18. Marlowe is not on social media much, while River immediately hops on Instagram to sleuth. Has social media been a benefit or a burden to you, or both? What is your relationship to social media and what would you like it to be?
19. I started writing this book as the perinatal mental health patient and I finished editing this book as my healthy self, the therapist. It was really important to me to include both. What hats do you wear professionally that you would like to apply to yourself personally?
20. One of the major themes of the book is the enlivening power of curiosity, awe, and wonder. For example, Marlowe never knew before her panic attack on the way home from Tahoe that the tree whose branches grow downward is thousands of years old. The curiosity she feels towards new experiences, and the wonder she feels in nature, uplifts her, making her feel more alive. Have you had moments like that in your life? What makes you feel more alive?